Personality #2

Today I am grateful for a nice Thanksgiving dinner with my family yesterday, and a nice walk together after. I am also grateful that although I still crave alcohol from time to time, the craving quickly passes.

And I will add that I  am grateful for my husband Darcy's forgiveness and sense of humor. He has learned to use both when my Personality #2 comes out.

Okay, I admit it. I am difficult to be around at times. Particularly when I am tired. That is when Personality #2 tends to come out the most. My need for control and my desire to always be right seem to get amplified by exhaustion and overdoing. I know I am probably not unique in this issue, so maybe you are reading something in this post that you can relate to.

My family gets the brunt of Personality #2. Isn't that the way it goes? We are toughest on the ones we love the most.

I am a work in progress and have much progress yet to make, but I am learning to keep my mouth shut more than I used to. And I am learning to put Personality #2 to rest sooner too. But what I am really learning is that behind my need for control and desire to be right is plenty of fear, most of it irrational. "If you aren't careful enough . . . if you don't do it this way. . . you need to make sure . . . " and other such drivel flits around in my head and comes out of my mouth, often harshly.

Fear can be countered by faith. I guess Personality #2 likes to be in charge so much that she sends faith packing. To get back to a rational and reasonable person, I need some faith. And I need Darcy's forgiveness and sense of humor. In and of itself, the fact that we can now joke about Personality #2 is progress.

Gratitude can keep self-pity at bay. Faith and rest can keep Personality #2 at bay.

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