Resenting or Resolving

Today I am grateful for my feet and where they carry me, indoors and outdoors. I am also grateful for the winter gear that helps me safely and comfortably move outdoors this time of the year.

Two "R" words are on my mind this morning for my list. Resenting and resolving. Resenting is treacherous territory for those in recovery, and really for anyone who wishes to know peace. If not recognized and released, resentments can lead back to a drink. If not a drink, ongoing pain and a pity party for self. Enough time in that state, and many will look for the soothing substance that used to numb them. Or they will keep blaming others, remain unforgiving, and stay stuck.

Letting go of resentments requires work, some of the hardest work to be done in recovery. Honesty. Fully feeling and accepting. Letting go and moving forward. This won't likely surprise anyone who knows me, but my biggest resentment in life has been directed at ---me, little old imperfect, flawed, selfish me. Amazing things happen when the work continues and the perception of self evolves to healthier, more kind and gentle. Amazing grace.

This time of the year people may be talking about resolutions to start off the new year. I prefer the daily resolution of staying committed to recovery and the efforts, tools, strategies, and connections that bring that daily peace I seek, at least enough of it to keep me thriving more than just surviving.

Today, I resolve to be honest, open-minded, and willing to be the person that alcoholism tried to keep me from being.  The person the Great Spirit in my life is helping me to be.

This year just closing, 2018, certainly brought a fair share of challenges to my life. I am forever and deeply grateful to recovery and how it helped me, with the support of others and that Great Spirit too, move through and forward.

I will be taking a blog break again for the next few days. See you in 2019! Happy New Year!