Point # 6: About Those Body Parts
Today I am grateful for the beauty and awe of the crescent moon in the early morning sky, and for the faith I have in a Higher Power/Great Spirit. The guidance provided leads me to a sense of balance I cannot attain on my own.
In looking at and considering what to write about Point of Clarity #6, I have many emotions, some of the deepest and most true about all that I lost and all that I gained as I moved through three different surgeries during the months of my active cancer treatment.
Point #6 is: “I can live without my breasts. Just don’t take my heart and soul.”
This one has been affirmed and validated abundantly in the last 10 years. Having my breasts removed brought relief because I still had cancer in my right breast after two previous attempts to remove it. It brought relief because keeping them would have kept fear and monitoring at a more heightened level.
I check my scars and the lymph nodes under my arms. The cancer in my right breast was close to my chest wall. I stay in tune to my body and any changes or aches and pains I wouldn't be able to attribute to my active lifestyle. But I don't have to schedule and go through mammograms and MRIs anymore.
Being flat-chested brought a level of vulnerability I had never experienced before. With time and both emotional and physical healing, it also brought a level of self-acceptance I had never known before. That's my story. Other women who have had their breasts removed have their own stories. The key is honor our own and one another's experiences individual and personal.
I am deeply grateful to my husband Darcy for his love and understanding through this all. He was nothing but accepting, patient, and comforting during the most difficult days and weeks I faced. Love is about far more than body parts. At least in our marriage.
My love of running and the joy and liberation it brought in the months after my mastectomies was one of the most healing things I could do. It still is. It helped me process a myriad of emotions and it helped me embrace the advantages of running free and flat.
Today, on this side of my sister Mary Jo's death from metastatic breast cancer, I think about missing my breasts, but that I can and do live fully without them. Cancer that stays in the breast is not deadly. Cancer that spreads to other parts of our bodies, like Mary Jo's did, is terminal. It gives me perspective for sure.
Some of the words I have written that seem to fit well here are:
"I am not less of a woman, just a woman less her breasts."
"There are far worse things to lose than hair and breasts."
"What lies beneath? A full and thankful heart."
"I still have the body parts that matter most."
Cancer got my breasts, but it hasn't gotten me. Cancer has taken plenty from my family and I. Yet, my flat chest has literally brought my heart closer to the surface, beating stronger with the great fullness of life. And it brings my soul alive with faith and lovingkindness when I let my usual guards down.
Breasts gone. Heart and soul alive and well.
In looking at and considering what to write about Point of Clarity #6, I have many emotions, some of the deepest and most true about all that I lost and all that I gained as I moved through three different surgeries during the months of my active cancer treatment.
Point #6 is: “I can live without my breasts. Just don’t take my heart and soul.”
This one has been affirmed and validated abundantly in the last 10 years. Having my breasts removed brought relief because I still had cancer in my right breast after two previous attempts to remove it. It brought relief because keeping them would have kept fear and monitoring at a more heightened level.
I check my scars and the lymph nodes under my arms. The cancer in my right breast was close to my chest wall. I stay in tune to my body and any changes or aches and pains I wouldn't be able to attribute to my active lifestyle. But I don't have to schedule and go through mammograms and MRIs anymore.
Being flat-chested brought a level of vulnerability I had never experienced before. With time and both emotional and physical healing, it also brought a level of self-acceptance I had never known before. That's my story. Other women who have had their breasts removed have their own stories. The key is honor our own and one another's experiences individual and personal.
I am deeply grateful to my husband Darcy for his love and understanding through this all. He was nothing but accepting, patient, and comforting during the most difficult days and weeks I faced. Love is about far more than body parts. At least in our marriage.
My love of running and the joy and liberation it brought in the months after my mastectomies was one of the most healing things I could do. It still is. It helped me process a myriad of emotions and it helped me embrace the advantages of running free and flat.
Today, on this side of my sister Mary Jo's death from metastatic breast cancer, I think about missing my breasts, but that I can and do live fully without them. Cancer that stays in the breast is not deadly. Cancer that spreads to other parts of our bodies, like Mary Jo's did, is terminal. It gives me perspective for sure.
Some of the words I have written that seem to fit well here are:
"I am not less of a woman, just a woman less her breasts."
"There are far worse things to lose than hair and breasts."
"What lies beneath? A full and thankful heart."
"I still have the body parts that matter most."
Cancer got my breasts, but it hasn't gotten me. Cancer has taken plenty from my family and I. Yet, my flat chest has literally brought my heart closer to the surface, beating stronger with the great fullness of life. And it brings my soul alive with faith and lovingkindness when I let my usual guards down.
Breasts gone. Heart and soul alive and well.
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